you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
