obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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