That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
