so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
