i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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