Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
