I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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