I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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