Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
