why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
