I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
