You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
