would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
