ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
