Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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