OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
