after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
