Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
