i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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