It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
