Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
did i just pee glitter
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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