win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
