My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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