it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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