Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
