Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
