my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
