Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
