so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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