Duck Duck Cougar?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
