East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
