So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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