what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i think i just lost a toe
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
