well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
