the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
