How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
