i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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