$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
