am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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