She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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