i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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