I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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