My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
