He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
