it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
