Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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