i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You were trust falling into bushes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
