You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
