i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
