So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
