I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
