Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Damn victory sex feels great
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