Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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