i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
