brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize