Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
