I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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