True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How external is "for external use only"?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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