new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize