Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
