i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
