An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
