it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
