i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
