you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
