I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
