just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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