Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
