But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
