so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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