do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
